Across Big Muddy and "Aux Arkansas"

My hopes of catching a glimpse of a blind bluesman puffing on a corncob along the banks of the Mississippi were in vain as the Mississippi is a very elusive river. There aren't any towns or roads within ten miles of the river because of the flood hazard and the only roads across are interstates which allow no place to pull over for a look. After blasting across I found myself in Carruthersville, Missouri, the first town I had been to with a truly midwestern-sounding name. From there it was straight into the Ozarks, a weird, hilly area filled with a reverse-engineered version of appalachian culture very far from the actual appalachians. Suffice it to say that the per-capita stockcar ownership rate is as high here as it is anywhere. I laughed at the truth of Ozark stereotypes when I was passed by a pick-up with a bloated cow carcass hanging out the back. I laughed even more when I was passed by a second truck with the same load. I got stuck for an hour behind a tow truck laboriously pulling a just broken-down school bus out of the hills. The roads however were awesome:tight, twisty, with plenty of stomach-dropping rises and falls.

"Y'all heard about that gun giveaway down at LeGrand?"