Well, as if on cue September 1st has brought crisp temperatures, and the distant Blue Ridge have come into crystalline autumnal focus from my lofty position at the top of the corporate ladder (literally-I work construction). Smells long held to the earth by the summer heat, the kinds that makes one think of plaids and tasteful scarfs have risen into the air. Its generally a faux pas among outlaw bikers to think about fall fashions, however, so my thoughts have turned to getting myself and "Big Black" ready for my trip.
For all you gear heads out there (a small subset of the droves that will be reading this blog daily) here's a rundown of my bike preparation. People constantly set off on long car journeys with their check engine lights burning bright, but motorcyclists are a bit more vigilant. Something about having four gallons of gas and hundreds of metal pieces moving at supersonic speeds between one's upper thighs, I guess.
Tires- After four days spent in a steadily deepening catatonic stupor researching tires on the web I ended up slapping on some Mefo Explorers, the finest tires that calculating, coldly efficient German engineering have thus far produced. These are used in the infamous Paris-Dakar Rally so I assume they can get my overfed self across Middle America.
New Chain and Sprockets- Old motorcycle chains eventually break apart at 70 mph, first smashing through your engine case and/or fibia and then becoming tangled in your rear wheel, so I figured this was money well spent.
Spark plug check-up-They say that the eyes are the window into the soul and similarly, sparkplugs are the window into the condition of your sooty, souless engine. An old timer mechanic could take one look at the tip of your sparkplug and tell you everything you needed to know about the condition of your bike's motor. My sparkplug told me I should spend less time peering down tiny orfices at piston crowns and more time working on personal hygiene as well as streamlining my five-year plan. This not being what I wanted to hear, I promptly shoved sparkys ugly little snout back in the motor so I didn't have to listen to any more of his harrangue. But not before brushing him off and re-gapping him.
Valve Clearance Check-Because motorcycle valves expand as they heat up, there is a tiny clearance between valve parts to allow for this. A tiny clearance being the thickness of two human hairs. Anything less than one human hair and your poor valves will gradually begin glowing red , finally becoming molten blobs on the DesMoines Beltway.
Real Oil- After spending millions of years deep within the earth's mantle, you would assume your average motor oil would be able to withstand a couple 'thou in a motorcycle engine. Not the case. Hence Rotella T Sythetic Tractor Trailer Engine oil. This stuff is usually bought in 50 gallon drums by trucking companies and is expected to last 50,000 miles between oil changes in tractor-trailer engines. It has more detergent in a quart than I've used on laundry in the last decade so it also keeps the inside of your motor sparkling clean.
Bolt check-I thought checking the tightness of every bolt on my bike would be pure drudgery, but it was actually one of the most satisfying things I've done to get ready. It feels great afterwards to know that your eyes have been over every inch of the bike and any noise you here is one that's supposed to be there.
Ill spare the details of packing for myself as it mostly revolved around the age-old split-end versus conditioning formula conundrum.
